The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

The basics

Title: The Kiss Quotient

Author:

Series: The Kiss Quotient #1

- The Kiss Quotient (2018)
- The Bride Test (2019)
- Untitled (2020)

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Goodreads Summary:

Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases — a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with, and way less experience in the dating department than the average thirty-year-old.

It doesn't help that Stella has Asperger's and French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. Her conclusion: she needs lots of practice — with a professional. Which is why she hires escort Michael Phan. The Vietnamese and Swedish stunner can't afford to turn down Stella's offer, and agrees to help her check off all the boxes on her lesson plan — from foreplay to more-than-missionary position...

Before long, Stella not only learns to appreciate his kisses, but to crave all the other things he's making her feel. Soon, their no-nonsense partnership starts making a strange kind of sense. And the pattern that emerges will convince Stella that love is the best kind of logic...

If you need help remembering what happened in The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, check out our recap below for a full plot summary.

What happened in The Kiss Quotient?

  • Stella’s mother tells her that she’s ready for grandchildren. She’s worried now that Stella is 30, time is running out.
  • Understandably, Stella freaks the hell out, and starts researching escorts. Her logic here is that she needs to become good at sex before getting a boyfriend or a husband and having children.
  • She hires a guy called Michael, and tells him her plan. He initially says that he’s not sure he’s on board with the arrangement, as he doesn’t usually repeat clients, but he’ll talk to her about it after the first time.
  • Michael fluffs himself up in the shower. This isn’t important, I just thought I would mention it. In case you forgot what happened, obviously.
  • Stella and Michael spend their first night together and it doesn’t go as well as Stella hoped it would.
  • Michael does teach her to kiss though.
  • Michael says he has to leave and won’t continue with the arrangement. He quickly changes his mind and agrees to participate in three more sessions.
  • Quan, Michael’s cousin, tells him it’s ok if he’s into guys. The whole family thinks Michael is gay because he hasn’t had a girlfriend in years, and they don’t know he’s escorting.
  • Michael tells Quan he has been seeing multiple women, which is kind of the truth?
  • Stella and Michael have their next session. Stella has come up with a checklist, which I find adorable and Michael finds irritating. Stella doesn’t understand Michael’s sarcasm, which doesn’t tip him off that she might be autistic.
  • Stella falls off the bed.
  • The couple has their third session which is more of a date, with ice cream and dancing.
  • Michael is worried about what Stella will think of him if she finds out about his dad, who is a cheater and a con artist.
  • Quan shows up at the club and introduces himself. When Michael is kissed by an annoying ex-client, Stella gets upset (and she’s already overstimulated) and wants to leave the club. Quan figures out that she’s autistic, like his brother Khai.
  • Michael drives Stella home and she offers him $50,000 to be in a fake relationship with her for six months. He says he needs time to consider it.
  • Stella takes her clothes to have them dry cleaned and she finds out Michael works at the dry cleaners and is a tailor.
  • Michael accepts Stella’s new proposal, and then his mum catches them kissing and invites Stella over for dinner.
  • Stella brings chocolate for Michael’s mother, but she doesn’t make the best first impression because she starts talking about BPA and poisoned food, which is legit.
  • Luckily, Michael’s mother is forgiving. Stella goes to see her at the store to apologise, and Stella gets invited back for a second try.
  • At this point, Michael and Stella are definitely sleeping together.
  • Quan tells Michael that Stella is autistic. Michael realises that’s why Stella acts the way she does.
  • Michael’s sister asks if Stella can get her an internship at her office.
  • While at his apartment, Stella looks at Michael’s bills, and realises that he’s escorting in order to pay for his mother’s cancer treatments.
  • Philip, Stella’s creepy colleague, kisses Stella. Stella is understandably disgusted. Michael is angry.
  • Michael and Stella go to a dinner party that Stella’s parents are at. Stella’s father isn’t very nice to Michael, and Michael gets upset and ends things with Stella due to guilt and miscommunication.
  • Stella is distraught but she’s determined to get over Michael. Yaassss queen.
  • Michael’s sister gets the internship.
  • Michael finds out that a mysterious donor has paid for his mother’s cancer treatment in full.

How did The Kiss Quotient end?

  • Stella goes on a lunch date with Philip and it doesn’t go well. Philip tries to kiss her and follow her when she tries to get away, but luckily Michael and Quan are there to intervene.
  • Michael follows Stella out and she tells him she’s trying to get over him.
  • He then starts to act a bit creepy instead of, you know, actually communicating his feelings. He starts sending her flowers and calling her nonstop.
  • But it’s ok, Stella seems fine with it. They get back together, and Michael finds out that Stella’s paid for his mother’s treatment by donating millions of dollars to the foundation that’s funding it.
  • Michael tells Stella he’s going to propose in a few months. She should know now because she doesn’t like surprises.

That was our recap of what happened in The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang. Check out our recap list for more plot summaries, and if you can’t find what you need you can request a recap here!

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