If I Die by Rachel Vincent

The basics

Title: If I Die


Series: Soul Screamers #5

- My Soul to Take (August 2009)
- My Soul to Save (December 2009)
- My Soul to Keep (June 2010)
- My Soul to Steal (January 2011)
- If I Die (September 2011)
- Before I Wake (June 2012)
- With All My Soul (March 2013)

Add it: Goodreads

Goodreads Summary:

The entire school's talking about the gorgeous new math teacher, Mr. Beck. Everyone except Kaylee Cavanaugh. After all, Kaylee's no ordinary high-school junior. She's a banshee—she screams when someone dies.

But the next scream might be for Kaylee.

Yeah—it's a shock to her, too. So to distract herself, Kaylee's going to save every girl in school. Because that hot new teacher is really an incubus who feeds on the desire of unsuspecting students. The only girls immune to his lure are Kaylee and Sabine, her boyfriend's needy ex-girlfriend. Now the unlikely allies have to get rid of Mr. Beck…before he discovers they aren't quite human, either.

But Kaylee's borrowed lifeline is nearing its end. And those who care about her will do anything to save her life.


Read a full summary of If I Die by Rachel Vincent below. If you can’t remember what happened in If I Die and you need a refresher, then you’re in the right place.

In short

Kaylee discovers that she’s going to die in less than a week, and she devotes her time to figuring out what the heck is up with Mr Beck, and why he is going aorund getting teenage girls pregnant. And how to stop him.

What happened in If I Die?

  • Kaylee has a new maths teacher – Mr Beck. Sabine previously read Mr Beck’s fears, and she found out that he is hiding what species he is. He’s not human.
  • In class, Kaylee senses that someone is about to die. A girl called Danica suffers a miscarriage in class. Her boyfriend, Max, later tells Kaylee that he and Danica had never had sex. So the baby must be someone else’s. Sabine thinks it’s Mr Beck’s since Danica was having dreams about him.
  • Tod tells Kaylee that she’s on the reaper list. She has six days to live. Kaylee’s dad wants to fight it, but since Kaylee is already on borrowed time, there can’t be another extension. It’s in the rules. Kaylee’s dad wants to sacrifice himself for Kaylee, like he tried to do before.
  • Kaylee goes to see Danica in hospital. Danica confirms that the baby wasn’t her boyfriend’s, but she doesn’t tell Kaylee who the real father is. Apparently it was just a one night stand. She also says that the doctors say she’ll never be able to have children again. Danica’s mother, Amanda, is also in hospital. She’s brain dead.
  • Kaylee has a date with Nash at her house. She thinks she’s ready to have sex, since she only has a few more days to live. Nash disagrees and they argue about it a bit. Tod interrupts because Kaylee’s dad is about to do something stupid.
  • Kaylee goes to see Sabine and asks her to investigate Mr Beck. In return, Kaylee promises to give Sabine and Nash her blessing once she is dead.
  • Tod interrupts Nash and Kaylee sexy times with the news that the reaper who killed Kaylee’s mother – Thane – will be coming for her. Thane is looking to get a promotion, and Kaylee’s death will be the key. It’s also likely that Thane is expecting Kaylee’s dad to cause trouble, and so this might all be a ploy to get back at Aiden.
  • Thane turns up at Kaylee’s house. He tells her that her dad has been begging reapers to take his soul in exchange for Kaylee’s. Tod told Aiden where to find the reaper offices.
  • Mr Beck says he wants to tutor Emma because she’s failing maths. Kaylee tells Emma that this is a bad idea, but Emma doesn’t listen. Sabine tries to seduce Mr Beck, but since she fails she reads him instead. It turns out that he’s scared he won’t ever procreate. He’s desperate for a son. Sabine comes to the conclusion that he’s an incubus.
  • Alec asks Kaylee about the dying thing. Thane turns up and stays invisible. Kaylee asks Alec about incubi. He tells her about their weird fertility cycle, and how they’re fertile for twelve to fourteen months of one hundred-ish years. For every dozen girls they impregnate, only one will give birth to a boy. The others will miscarry or have girls, who can’t be incubi.
  • Tod and Kaylee break into a psychiatric ward – the same one that Kaylee was in when she was younger – to see a pregnant girl called Farrah. Farrah has a roommate called Lydia, who was there when Kaylee was. Lydia has been taking away Farrah’s pain and things to help her carry the baby to term. Mr Beck is the father of Farrah’s baby. He worked at another school before going to Kaylee’s.
  • Tod gets Lydia out of the hospital because she is fine and doesn’t want to be stuck there. While he’s gone, Kaylee goes to see Scott, who was taken to the ward a couple of books ago. Scott’s seeing Avari and other hellions, in what Kaylee thinks are hallucinations.
  • Nash and Kaylee get into an argument wherein Nash tells Kaylee that Tod is in love with her. Kaylee says she doesn’t know if she likes him back or not. Thane sees the whole thing.
  • Emma is used as bait to catch Mr Beck. Meanwhile, Kaylee crosses over to the Netherworld, and overhears Tod talking with Avari. Tod has taken Thane to Avari so that Thane wouldn’t be the one to take Kaylee’s soul. Avari tries to barter for Kaylee’s soul himself, but Tod is having none of it. Tod and Kaylee leave the Netherworld.
  • Kaylee kisses Tod. Nash sees them, and tells Kaylee she has to choose. She chooses Tod.
  • Kaylee goes to help Emma with Mr Beck. She pretends to be attracted to him to get Emma out of the classroom.
  • Nash confronts Kaylee about the Tod thing, and he gets very upset. He initially wants them to get back together, but Kaylee refuses. It’s revealed that Nash has been taking frost/Demon’s Breath again. He Influences Kaylee, and Sabine punches him in the gut.
  • It turns out that incubus babies are born without souls, and they can’t live more than a few minutes unless they get one. If the mother dies before the umbilical cord is cut, the baby gets the mother’s soul. A human soul, however, can’t sustain an incubus body. Beck was planning on getting Lydia’s soul for his and Farrah’s baby.
  • Mr Beck had been seeing Emma’s sister, Traci. He meets Kaylee. Mr Beck wants to kill Kaylee and give her soul to his unborn child because, since she is a virgin, her soul is pure. He also wants to frame Nash for Kaylee’s murder.

How did it end?

Mr Beck stabs Kaylee in the stomach. When he pauses, Kaylee grabs the knife made from hellion-forged steel (it holds souls) , and stabs Mr Beck in the heart. Kaylee’s now dying. She tries to call Tod but she can’t speak. Tod turns up in her room.

Tod takes Kaylee to the hospital and then blinks out to get her dad. Levi turns up. Since Tod took Kaylee to the hospital, he is her reaper (it’s his zone). Tod refuses to take Kaylee’s soul, so Levi zaps him out before taking Kaylee’s soul himself.

Kaylee wakes up to see Levi and Madeline standing there. Madeline asks Kaylee to join her reclamation department, which would mean Kaylee would help find stolen souls. Kaylee initially refuses, but they tell her than doing this will help Nash, who has currently been put in jail for Kaylee’s murder. Kaylee tells them to get rid of the documentation of her death so it’s as though it never happened. She also asks for Tod to be brought back, but Levi says there’s nothing he can do.

Kaylee goes home and tells everyone about what happened. They ask about Tod, and Tod chooses that moment to turn up. Levi came through.

Anything else?

Bean sidhe (female) – They scream when someone is dying, and suspend the soul in the air so it can’t move on to the afterlife.
Bean sidhe (male) – They hear the females’ screaming as singing, and can put souls back into the body in exchange for another’s life. They can also Influence people’s emotions.
Reaper – take the soul once a person is dead.
Hellion – A kind of demon that resides in the Netherworld. Quite powerful. They feed on emotions and souls.
Netherworld – Where all kinds of hellions, faeries and things live.
Avari – Hellion of greed.
Crimson creeper – A poisonous plant.
Fiend – Creepy little buggers in the Netherworld.
Proxy – Non-humans that the hellions keep alive for many years so they can snack on them.
Lampade – Exist in both worlds at once. “Liminal light” runs through their bodies like blood. Can use the light to create doorways between worlds.
Nightmare or Mara – Feeds on human energy/dear while their “victim” is asleep.
Hypnos – Feed through human energy through the barrier between the worlds. Cannot cross over from the Netherworld.Incubus – A male psychic parasite that feeds from human energy, specifically lust.
Syphon – Take feelings and emotions and physical pain from other people.

This is a full plot summary of what happened in If I Die by Rachel Vincent. Check out our recap list for more recaps. If you can’t find what you need, you can request a recap from us!

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